by FANCYPUNK for the shituationist institue

Greece in summer , a place with many titles to fame. Every year thousands of tourists are searching a new adventure in most of the occasions are  going to the greek Islands instead the mainland which is “not much going on”? for the young people’s party. Tons of low quality alcohol and sex on the beach with drunk people hanging around especially during the night on the beach and the little streets of the Island main towns . A big party of the European wasted youth is definitely taking place in Greece. Are you ready for the annual big party in the greek islands?

I m not writing these lines to encourage people to come in Greece this summer , there are  definitely several better places to go , especially now who  Greece is witnessing a financial collapse  , the situation here is getting increasingly  disorganized. In the other hand certainly someone can tell you that  Greece remains a beautiful country , with much sun , blue sky and in some particular areas with friendly people as well. Lets get a glimpse of the 5 “must to go” areas in Greece during summer!

The biggest airport of the country is located in Athens (eleftherios Venizelos). You may know Athens because of the acropolis , history and the riots , molotov cocktails in the recent past. Athens is truly a destination for riot tourists ..During the summer time Athens turns into a real Hell with the temperature up to 40 degrees. Therefore run directly to the port (Piraeus) and get your  ferry ticket for the next destination . Where do you have to go? It depends who you re and what are you searching for. Although the most of the people are searching generally for the same things and in all of the greek islands you can find almost everything you wish , some places are always better than others. Therefore I will describe the best holiday Islands for  5 different  types of people as well as I will tell you where Im going this summer.

type 1 (which I also belong to) PARTY ANIMALS, alcohol freaks and people like us!

Party animals , people who love alcohol , vomiting and being  wasted in summer please get this announcement seriously. Ios Island in Cyclades is your paradise. Ios in old greek means flower don’t ask me why and who gave this name to the Island. I was there last year and Im planning to go there this  year again for 3 months. Ios is rather a small island with a rare fairy village with tinny white houses and blue windows  up to the hill , perfect landscape and countless bars and little clubs.

Down to the hill you will find milopotas beach with two big camping areas , small rooms to rent and so on. Especially in August the island is packed , thousands of young single people are searching for a great adventure and the non stop party is taking place 24 hours.

Ios island is a “non go area” for couples , families and retired people who are searching for a peaceful holiday. The food is nasty and perhaps a bit expensive (i don’t know the price lists for this year)but there are also cheap offers and solutions. The little secret of this Island is definitely how to buy your drinks. The bars and clubs are selling crap. I mean the quality of the drinks is awful therefore is always better to get drunk to the village’s square , buying your bottle of vodka or whatever you want from the mini market. It is certainly cheaper and better , comparing what they offer at the bars. All night the little streets of the Ios main village are overcrowded with teenagers or young wasted people in a good friendly mood and open for socializing.

type of person 2  “Im in love.. wanna go with my partner to the paradise… for the people who are in love , counting the stars and watching the moon (bliahhh)..  = Santorini Island.

Close to Ios is Santorini. Actually it is only one hour far with the ferry from Ios. Santorini is a real paradise to be honest. It is probably the most beautiful island of Cyclades(with a volcano near to the Island , don’t worry an old volcano, not like in Iceland) but there is a little disadvantage. Because of this island is good for couples (couple island), you can’t really find many party places. The main town (fyra) is extremely expensive comparing to Ios for instance , but offers high quality services (most of the times) for rich people. In my opinion even if this island is beautiful , don’t go there if you re broke.

As far as I remember (i was there in 2006) only an other little village (Perisa) is cheaper , perhaps you can also find a handful of parties at the beach bars there. An other essential fact if you are planning to go to Santorini in the end  is that the beaches are not so beautiful comparing to other Islands (Crete for example or Ios etc..).

type 3 party raver , gay queer , one night stand lovers , people who wanna show of power and money , fashion designers ,stupid people from the TV and so on… welcome to Mykonos

Now you re wondering for sure , how type 3 can include and combine party ravers and gay queer with fashion designers and stupid people from the TV. shit happens ? I dunno what to answer but definitely Mykonos is marvellous. Mykonos many decades now is famous destination for gay and queer people as well as for people who love house music and techno. I rather believe that Mykonos is easily comparable to Spanish party Islands like Ibiza etc. In Mykonos you can find Cavo Paradizo which is a fabulous club , the most popular djs of the world plays at least once every summer. Djs and producers such as Carl Cox , Paul Oakenfold goes there almost every year I think?

Located some 6 km south east of Mykonos Town, Super Paradise beach is the most alternative and anti-conformist beach on the island. Super Paradize is SUPER. A brilliant beach bar – club ,offers an exceptional experience. Cocktails and dancing last from Morning till late at night. Besides now the light side , lets mention the dark side of Mykonos.

First of all , the greek trash media advertise the Island , therefore try to avoid the idiots and  the evil paparazzi. Mykonos is defined as the destination for the famous and people who have money ,  due the fact that it is really expensive.. Definitely you can find many stupid people in  Mykonos .. but if you re brave enough (also have enough money) go there for a couple of days.

type 4 . I want an Island who combines everything , mountains , marvellous beaches , parties , tropical weather , good food etc…

Crete is definitely the best Greek Island and your destination.If you ask the locals , they think that the Island can easily be autonomous from the rest of the country. It combines everything and it is a highly recommended by everyone who gets there once. The Island is huge and all the regions of the Island are gorgeous. You can easily find flights from the majority of the airports in the UK , NL and  Germany. The locals are a bit weird , so don’t fuck with them , can easily get upset. Crete is rather expensive too but you can easily find cheap stuff too. I advice you to rent a motorbike or a car because you can’t really see the whole Island by using public transport etc.

At Iraklio the biggest city of the Island , especially at Malia (the BEST CLUBBING AREA of Greece)(approximately 40 min out from Iraklio) you can find a similar to Ios situation including some house and techno events the whole summer season. More information check at http://maliatv.blogspot.com/. Chania (the second biggest city) is also highly recommended for having parties and great time.

a video from Malia

type 5 : Im a hippy , love trance music and searching for a place with hippies and trance music welcome to Samothraki Island

Well several good friends of mine love this Island. It is an Island , rather famous from greek mythology , ceremonies and orgies. Samothraki is a real alternative for people who wants to relax , just relax.The Island is in the north of Greece and as you understand its rather a big problem because it is not easy accessible. You have to go to Alexandroupolis (a city near to the Turkish border) and then a ferry.  A big forest extends towards the mountain of the Island. In the very beginning of the 00s Samothraki was famous for trance festivals and hippies. The Island today remains popular to the hippy scene therefore I didnt really like it to be honest , but the nature with the forests , rivers etc creates a rare atmosphere.

If you had enough of over concuption , noise of the city and so on then go there ..but pay attention to that , the islands deserves respect and your full consideration (collect your rubbish , dont shit wherever you re,  or light fire or other things you consider dangerous)

b) practical advice part

You can easily get your tickets with not much stress to Cyclades from the main port of Piraeus .Always becareful the time tables and be sure about the scheduled departures.  You can check on google for the maps of each Island. Pay attention that free camping is forbidden and you can easily get a fine or easily be on trial.I dont say that free camping is impossible but better to ask locals or greek young people who do the same , they will be helpful 100%.

Pay attention always to check and compare the prices. Greece is one of the most expensive countries of the EU especially in summer , many times in markets , restaurants etc, will try to extort as much money as possible from you.

As an Epilogue

Greece is not exceptional , but you can enjoy your holiday. Techno and house scene in some particular areas is the only music you will catch up with. I hope you find my alternative guide usefull. If you have any questions or like to add something , feel free to leave a comment.